Christmas Magic

You know, lately, I've been sitting around doing some contemplation of my navel. No seriously, some deeper thinking below surface level. The tree's up and decorated. The house looks like it barfed up Christmas, but I don't feel really "decorated" inside. Maybe it's the economy and telling the kids that there won't be much for Christmas this year. I understand that this is hard. We're created in our Maker's image and He likes to give good things. Well, so do we. That's why we feel bummed when we can't give those gifts to those we care about. It's more than that, though. This has been going on for quite a while. I think it started when I was in high school.

I got the camera for Christmas that I'd asked for. My parents were delighted to give it, but I just felt nothing inside. No magic, no wonder, no Christmas feeling. I went to my bedroom and cried. My Mom thought I was bummed about the gift, but I told her that the gift was fine. Something just was missing that I couldn't put a finger on. It was lost. What was lost? Christmas magic. Christmas was no longer magic.

I tried hard to regain that feeling. You know that magical feeling we have as kids when we anticipate the arrival of Santa and can hardly wait for the sun to rise. Forget sleep on Christmas Eve. The anticipation was so thick it was palpable. As the first ray cut through the smallest slit in the window coverings, it was bound into the parents' room to rouse them. The gleam in my parents' eyes foretold the wonders beneath the tree. There was no Red Rider BB Gun beneath my tree, but there was the magical Dancerina doll. As beautiful as she was talented. I adored that doll and making her dance. There were so many fun gifts which my parents practically bankrupted themselves to give us. There was so much there, but where was it?

To regain the feeling, I became a decorating fool. Remember the aforementioned house that barfed up Christmas? I baked so many Christmas cookies that Sara Lee was thinking of hiring me to help lighten her load. I tried going to Christmas parties, pageants, Christmas Eve services; carolling parties, just singing Christmas carols. All the normal Christmas things, but still zip. It was like Santa brought me a stocking full of coal and I had to chew on each nugget. I love Christmas, but it just didn't seem to love me anymore.

Don't get me wrong. I really do like doing all this stuff. It still brings joy, but the magic just ain't there. I'd like to say I've finally found the answer to the problem. I know how to bring back Christmas magic, but nope, it ain't there. I don't think it's supposed to be. Oh, I see hints of it from time to time. Just watch your kids open a gift. There's a twinkle of it. A carol sung w/ other voices. As that tune rises, the magic momentarily returns. A connection with the past. I still look for it, but it's not there. I've determined however, that my focus needs to change.

The magic has always been very "me" centered. It's all about me feeling that magic. I am trying to capture something that is gone. I've been depressed at Christmas because I just don't feel it anymore. A lot of I, I, I. The focus needs to get off me. So what do I focus on? The four gifts that Jesus brought when he was born. I know. We know the story of the wisemen bringing gifts. I wrote a Christmas play concerning them, but Jesus brought gifts far better.

So what were those gifts? First is hope. Hope means the assurance of coming good. God is sooooo good. His intentions toward us are good. His desires for us are good. All He wants for us is good. Now this is ultimate good. This doesn't mean a few hurdles to get over, but He helps us over them. He knows that it's good for us to go over them and wants to make sure we do successfully. I can hope in the fact that God means good for me. Jesus brought us hope.

The next is peace. I must confess that I struggle w/ peace because I struggle w/ doubt. I have trouble resting in Him and what He has for me. I'm too much of a control freak. I want to play God and let Him make my desires happen. Because this is my attitude, I miss out on a lot of the gift of peace. This peace, however, is also the peace we have w/ God. Jesus came so that we would have peace w/ the Father. The strife between us because of sin has been wiped away. I have peace w/ God because of the covering of Jesus' righteousness. Jesus brought us peace.

Thirdly, we have joy. Joy is a feeling of total wellbeing and contentment despite our circumstances. It's not happiness which flutters away at the first sign of a wind of discontent. No, joy abides w/ us. It hangs w/ us throughout everything as a reminder that the good will come. Joy allows me to face the next step even though the last took me off a cliff. Joy allows me to stand when the winds blow hardest. Why can I do it? Because Jesus is joy. He stands there or walks with me no matter where I am. Joy reminds me that He will never leave or forsake me. Joy holds my heart in its hand and never lets go. When Jesus came, He brought us joy.

Lastly is love. Jesus is love. Everywhere He goes, He brings love. Not the love based on what I have done. Love based on what He did on the cross. Love that sees beyond, hopes beyond, believes beyond what any of us can see. Love that accepts me no matter the shape I'm in. Jesus loves me so much that He's not content to leave me as a trash-digger. He covers me w/ His righteousness, sets my feet on the Rock and leads me in the path of righteousness. He lets me rest beside quiet waters where He quietly speaks to my heart. He loves me so much that His every thought toward me is good. Love sorta sums up all the other gifts. It's the one that holds it all together. Love became fully understood when Jesus came.

Magic? Well, it's not there. When I was I child, I thought as a child and behaved as a child, but now that I am older.... That's the whole thing, I'm older. The magic has been replaced by reality because I believed in part, but now I know in full. Magic filled in all the cracks because that was all I could understand. It was me, me, me. Now that I'm wiser, it's gotta be more. It's Christ. It's fully receiving the gifts that Christ brought. It's not the glitter in the stores that will satisfy. Not the trees, cookies or decorations. All those are great to share; I'm just not gonna find what I need there. It's hope, peace, joy and love. Those are the true magic or as CS Lewis would have called "deeper magic." You know, most magic tricks can be explained away. All of them are manufactured by man to deceive. Even if they are meant for good, they still are man's. The real magic is the hope, peace, joy and love that Jesus brings us. So, I'm hanging up the stocking, but I'm also trying to focus on those gifts of Jesus and looking for my satisfaction there. Wanna join me?